[mon, feb^16th, 2026, 10⁺¹ o’clock_p.m. in tem­pel­hof] the ‘voice’ which claimed to be some neighbor called peter fischer, very often suggested to be si­mon petrus, also called ‘the fisher’, which ‘es­caped’ from hell,^⚠claim having seen may­be two or three women in there, but thou­sands of men.^⚠claim
but this one formes an int­er­est­ing al­le­go­ry anyway:

mathew 16:19

and i will give unto thee the keys of the king­dom of heav­en: and what­so­ever thou shalt bind on earth shall be bound in heav­en: and what­so­ever thou shalt loose on earth shall be loosed in heav­en.

may­be yēšūa’ spoke of an en­trance per­son­al­ly and for every­one:

luke 17:20

.. ‘the king­dom of god does not come with ob­ser­va­tion;’ ..

luke 17:21

.. ‘the king­dom of god is with­in you.’

mathew 16:22

.. ‘and said un­to pe­ter, get thee be­hind me, satan: thou art an of­fence unto me: for thou savourest not the things that be of god, but those that be of men.’ ..

that voice, which i encountered thousands of times also pretended to play some stu­pid game around the ‘best hu­man in the world’, claim­ing to play alone. others to win any­thing nev­er was in­tend­ed, but com­plete­ly de­gen­er­at­ed he tried to suck/co­erce every­body in, to con­trol, to tor­ture, to earn?
the very few times, he shout­ed that i’ve ‘won’, it was noth­ing more but a schiz­o­phre­nia di­ag­no­sis, drug­ging/se­dat­ing, a tor­tured body, sun­ken time, ter­ror and sad­ness.

peter’s cross

[thu, feb^19th, 2026, 10⁺¹ o’clock_a.m. in tem­pel­hof] peter’s cross ⸸ is an in­vert­ed (turned) cross, thus pe­ter, ‘1st bish­op’ of the ear­ly chris­tians, got cru­ci­fied up­side down. for what rea­son, when every oth­er cru­ci­fied hu­man be­ing was wor­thy dy­ing the way yēšūaʿ did?

it also is used ‘to in­vert or sub­vert chris­t­ian teach­ings’? when the voice be­hind an alleged mr. fischer want­ed to turn the cre­ation up­side down, a sa­tanis­tic church was meant? when he were around, one not only smelled the stench of death but it also smelled burnt.

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exo­dus 3:14:

וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶֽהְיֶ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר כֹּ֤ה תֹאמַר֙ לִבְנֵ֣י
יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֲלֵיכֶֽם׃

mean­ing:
and god said to mo­se, «ehyeh-asher-ehyeh, ..»
[amend] ‘modern’ trans­lation is «i am that i am», con­tin­u­ing:
«thus shall you say to the is­raelites, ehyeh sent me to you.»

mo­se saw her too, i think. when i met her in jun, 2025, i received a very similiar «i am who you think i am», but the next sentence from exodus is odd and doesn’t make any sense. it seems as if her real name sounds like ‘i am’ in heb­rew? and that מֹשֶׁה/mo­se, a heb­rew speak­er, might just missed her, not to be spoken out loud (unless you know what you’re doing) name:
ehyeh ⇨ íːvə (in IPA, which is the name i got from her, or YaH­WeH).

so from my perspective, mo­se not just proved her ex­is­tence so au­then­tic fal­li­ble, but him­self as be­ing a true prophet as well as the תָּנָ״ךְ (tanakh)^? be­ing true (in this regard). he was there. on that mountain. with her.

[amend, prs.] and i love him almost like i love her. she has the greatest humor anyway, but he put such a great slapstick in. ❤️
them both make me a strong believer. i am not sure, if i am jewish, but i couldn’t care less, when she celebrates pessach with me and i am with her at the end of the week, when my apartment is without electric power for almost 25 hours. or when i hear her sing along with the 5th adhan in downtown marrakech. or when she sent yeshua as an invitation for the non-yahedut, stating that we all are christians, meaning his ‘crew’. so the jewish as chosen ones anyway, being a subset, so to say.

[amend] i hold it possible that she’s d’accord with (some of) us, saying her name?

her name doesn’t mean ‘jealous’, but ‘zealous’ by the way. or passion/love, the two sides of that most important coin: هوى (ara­bic h.w.y) roots here. where هوايا (arabic hawaya) de­rives from?1 i put more detail on my website, which you’ll find under about.

#TBC

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torturing physically, abusing my name to commit felony crimes on my behalf, robbing my thoughts, trying to induce their own, manipulating feelings via hormones, drugging my brain to send me on cold turkey. trying to rip off my soul. trying to send me into nirvana, alternatively into ‘another universe’ to make sure that i won’t ever come back. ‘their’ excuse is to hate the jewish, alleging me to be of jewish descent.

and all of them satans shouting HER name. only to get picked up in the end.

patriarchy has had its chance and fulfilled providence. as a reminder until all earth meets heaven, it will always lead into fascism or worse. from my perspective there’s nothing to inherit for a man. it simply doesn’t make any sense. it looks like "/she/god cre­ates some space for us to pave a way back to (nat­ur­al) ma­triliny (again).

especially the male protagonists of my story over the last five years awaits a challenging faith, that’s for sure. and i cannot imagine, it won’t have effects regarding society and economy/businesses as well as family structures and inheritance trees.

what have ‘they’ done?

#TBC

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isaiah 66:13

כְּאִ֕ישׁ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אִמֹּ֖ו תְּנַחֲמֶ֑נּוּ כֵּ֤ן אָֽנֹכִי֙ אֲנַ֣חֶמְכֶ֔ם

(en.: ‘as a moth­er com­forts her child, so will i com­fort you, ..’)

1. af­ter hate and cru­el­ty of cow­ard­ly and in­hu­man groups of (ul­tra-)nazi ter­ror­ists2 made a god in­evitable (turn­ing those men in­to a beau­ti­ful al­le­go­ry of a de­gen­er­at­ed pa­tri­archy lat­er on).

2. [השם] first en­coun­tered in june, 2025, af­ter get­ting pre­pared.3 re­fer­ring to her­self as (not to be spoken out loud) íːvə4 (in IPA):

   exodus 20 (שְׁמוֹת):6

   לֹא תִשָּׂא אֶת-שֵׁם-יְהוָה אֱלֹהֶיךָ, לַשָּׁוְא

   (en.: ‘thou shalt not take the name of YHWH thy god in vain’)

   often re­ferred here to as יי (or ASCII “) for a lot more rea­sons than try­ing to avoid ridicu­lous gen­der dis­cus­sions.

   [amend, prs.] i call her ‘shaddai’ most often.

3. “/she laid her right hand on my shoulder, but

4. her face she did not show (the one paint­ing it, i want to see). the rel­e­vant part from ex­o­dus 33:20 might bet­ter be ‘trans­lat­ed’ as «.. how do you in­tend to live, are you cer­tain of me?», imho. con­vinc­ing me in lieu, most el­e­gant and un­ob­tru­sive, that she is ex­alt­ed above all

5. when look­ing to­wards the hori­zon from an up­per floor of a build­ing, es­ti­mat­ing un­count­able pa­ra­me­ters over com­ing thou­sands of years, i receive a ‘passt’ in ger­man by “/her, mean­ing ‘suits’ or ‘fits’ and that “/she does­n’t think that i have to worry either.

6. “/she seemed to show me thoughts of bright white light, in­di­cat­ing that a ‘grain of dust’ does­n’t make any sense. may­be the ruach or (parts of) the holy ghost, ref­er­enc­ing them.

7. the bib­li­cal name of YHWH is «יהוה»,

8. i sus­pect that mo­ses sim­ply mis­heard the name of haschem, under stress, hunger, fa­tigue, and that YHWH/god proves her beau­ti­ful cre­ation by the fal­li­bil­i­ty of her chil­dren:

   exo­dus 3:14:

   וַיֹּ֤אמֶר אֱלֹהִים֙ אֶל־מֹשֶׁ֔ה אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה אֲשֶׁ֣ר אֶֽהְיֶ֑ה וַיֹּ֗אמֶר כֹּ֤ה תֹאמַר֙ לִבְנֵ֣י

   יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל אֶֽהְיֶ֖ה שְׁלָחַ֥נִי אֲלֵיכֶֽם׃

   mean­ing:

   and god said to mo­se, «ehyeh-asher-ehyeh, ..»

   [note: bible trans­lation is «i am that i am»]

   con­tin­u­ing, «thus shall you say to the is­raelites, ehyeh sent me to you.»

   an ‘i am who you think i am i re­ceived too’, but the next: the name of “ seems to sound like ‘i am’ in heb­rew and מֹשֶׁה/mo­se, a heb­rew speak­er, might have missed her (not to be spoken out loud) name: ehyeh ⇨ íːvə (in IPA, or YaH­WeH).

   so, by the same time, he not just prov­ed the ex­is­tence of “ so au­then­tic fal­li­ble, but him­self as be­ing a true prophet as well as the תָּנָ״ךְ (tanakh!?) be­ing true too. ❤️

   [amend of apr, 2026] was “ proving her own existence and that of her creation over the fallibility of her children? me, being an agnostic for 47 years, i didn’t really know the bible (only for iconographic purposes while studying art history).

   #TO­DO it is ok for (some of) us to say her name out loud as long as it is em­bed­ded in dig­ni­ty?

9. the name of “ means ‘love’/‘pas­sion’?

   exo­dus 34:14:

   כִּ֛י לֹ֥א תִֽשְׁתַּחֲוֶ֖ה לְאֵ֣ל אַחֵ֑ר כִּ֤י יְהוָה֙ קַנָּ֣א שְׁמֹ֔ו אֵ֥ל קַנָּ֖א הֽוּא׃

   is trans­lated into modern eng­lish bibles with ‘for you shall not wor­ship any other god, for the LORD [amend: it is writ­ten «YHWH»], whose name is jeal­ous, is a jeal­ous god’.

   or: whose name means «zeal», a zeal­ous god?
   هوى (ara­bic h.w.y) roots here, where هوايا (arabic hawaya) de­rives from?5
   mean­ing ‘love’, ‘af­fec­tion’, ‘pas­sion’ and/or ‘de­sire’.

by all means: my ideal of an al­mighty cre­ator/cre­atress (by co­in­ci­dence)^😂, i just never was able to imag­ine.

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the name of el shaddai, imho (or, not to be spoken out loud: IEVE in german), but she kin­da fools me around a bit, pun­ning over ver­sions of the name: her name for ‘I [..?] EVE’.the (pre-bib­li­cal) let­ter equiv­a­lents of the name by go­ing back from the he­brew al­pha­bet via the phoeni­cian to the pro­to-sinaitic (or caananite) let­ters:

re­mark­able are the two dif­fer­ent signs for the later let­ter ep­silon, fad­ing away very early even with­in the egypt­ian hi­ero­glyphs? but some­how i think™ it mat­ters for the name of “: «the preacher» and «the wor­shiper» look sim­i­lar but do have a very dif­fer­ent mean­ing, imo. and so i think, this early in­scrip­tion builds a beau­ti­ful al­le­go­ry made of «hand», «preach­er», «birds»/«poultry» & «war­shiper» to de­scribe the name of YHWH/god as an­oth­er word for «pas­sion/love».
[note: by writ­ting the 2nd E in her name in ital­ic, i try to take the two dif­fer­ent mean­ings of the pre-ep­silon let­ter into con­sid­er­a­tion.]

yəšaʿyāhū 14:12:

אֵ֛יךְ נָפַ֥לְתָּ מִשָּׁמַ֖יִם הֵילֵ֣ל בֶּן־שָּׁ֑חַר נִגְדַּ֣עְתָּ לָאָ֔רֶץ חוֹלֵ֖שׁ עַל־גּוֹיִֽם:

(en.: ‘how you have fall­en from heav­en, said hillel ben-sahar; you have been brought down to the earth, a bur­den to the na­tions.’)

the story goes about a fal­len king of baby­lon. does LVCIFER even ap­pear in the tanakh?
[amend^prs.] his whole (known) iden­ti­ty is man made. why should there be a fight bet­ween an­gels? “/el is שדאי (om­nipo­tent). it’s the pre­server­esses of the cre­ation who ban­ish sa­tans to hell every day.

rea­gan once stated ‘it takes two to tango.’ no light with­out dark­ness? no good with­out evil? no great­ness with­out small squares? on a more reg­u­lar ba­sis: venus to some, devil to others. did he, the morning star, lead the kings to yēšūaʿ? did he vis­it mary, be­cause of an an­gel be­ing male?

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and of course: ‘PACTA SUNT SERVANDA’ (en.: ‘contracts have to be fulfilled’). an exclusive (monogamous) relationship shall be treated as an exclusive relationship.

more examples:

• out of eden (the ‘place of shameless nudity’, ‘milk & honey’ and no other needs), where one covers its shame, we shall treat each other as equal1

• it’s not about so-called «vir­gin­i­ty» (being a social construct anyway), but «grace» and «dignity»

• “ (via medium) in ger­man: ‘ich brau­che kein ge­schlecht, aber für dich bin ich di­vers.’ (en.: ‘i do not need a sex/gen­der, but for you i am di­verse.’)

• seem­ing­ly ‘al­lowed’ is what con­tributes to joy, for every­one^! (even me­di­ate?) in­volved, as long as in­ti­ma­cy stays (con­tex­tu­al­ly) in­ti­mate (onan simply was an en­vi­ous/greedy dude)

• one shall digest the milk intended for the lamb, before one eats its mother

• one please names god by its (not spoken out) name יהוה‎, if she says so, and not the LORD in capital letters, even more so if #godismorefemale (at least to me) anyway

how­ever: any least at­tempt to pun­ish LOVE (her name btw) will find coun­ter­bal­ance.